We at Eymer Design are proud to present to you, the most revolutionary invention of the 20th century! The handheld personal incendiary device we like to call: A LITTLE BIT O HELL IN AN ITSY BITSY BOX
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From the Mouths of Clients…
Graphic Design, although occasionally rewarding, can be extremely labor-intensive and subjective. I have the gray hairs to confirm this fact.
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the original.
Not as Easy as You Might Think!
Five measly dollars? For a unique piece of intellectual capital requiring a tanker load of blood sweat and tears?
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Despite Being The World’s Best: Poor Sales & Service Will Kill Your Business In A Heartbeat
I live in Massachusetts and my oldest son just started college in North Carolina. Late last week, he notified me that his allergies were acting up and asked me to send him some Clariten tablets. I of course agreed and proceeded to place an order with online retailer, Drugstore.com. After filling out the order form, I was presented with several payment options. I chose the most prominent method, PayPal. Although it doesn’t provide reward points, I have always been a big fan of PayPal and appreciate the security that it offers.
It was a short time after the order was placed, that I received a confirmation email from Drugstore.com. My order had shipped–Good News! However, after studying the email, I realized that the medicine was on its way to Massachusetts and NOT North Carolina. Sure, this made me a little frustrated–but I chalked it up to my tendency to multi-task–despite what the experts say.
I decided that my next move was to attempt the order again. Instead of ordering the bottle of 70 tablets, I would order a package of 10. When the larger bottle arrived in my mailbox, I would just reship them to North Carolina.This time, however, I slowed my self down and methodically went through the ordering process–paying close attention to the shipping address. When this was complete, I clicked the PayPal button–and everything was perfect!
Soon after, the confirmation email for the second order arrived. Yes, the second order had gone through and the package was being shipped to…
…Massachusetts!
I immediately called Drugstore.com to find out what had gone wrong for the second time! The customer service representative was very polite as I explained the series of events. He kindly explained that, yes, this was a problem and that they were aware of it. The way that their online system was set up, if you select the (extremely prominent) PayPal button as your payment option, the delivery address is automatically changed to your default PayPal address. In other words, upon entering ANY shipping address, whenever I pay with PayPal, my Drugstore.com order will be chipped to my Massachusetts address.
The customer service rep, with some hesitation, finally agreed to send me postage-free shipping labels so that I could immediately return the two orders, once received. Once the packages were received, I would receive a refund to my PayPal account.
So, from a customer service standpoint, if Drugstore.com realizes that this is a problem, why don’t they discontinue the use of PayPal until this issue is fully resolved?
This whole experience has caused me to rethink my business partnership with this online retailer. In fact, I was able to place an order for the 70 Clariten tablets through Amazon.com. I have received confirmation that my package is North Carolina bound–and not only that–I was able to make my purchase for almost $10 less.
On Friday, I received an urgent email from the college’s health office. They were checking through his medical records and questioned the date of when he received a particular vaccine. According to his medical records, he had received the shot at four months of age–when in most cases, this particular vaccine is not given until the child is at least a year old. In fact, because he received it so unusually young, the health office insisted that he immediately receive a new vaccine–if he wished to continue attending classes. It was the health office that suggested that I speak with his pediatrician, in order to confirm that a mistake was not made in transcribing the date of the vaccine.
After hanging up the phone with the college health office, I immediately picked up the phone to the office of his pediatrician.
We love our sons’ pediatrician and feel very fortunate to have had him as a doctor. However, as the years have gone by and his practice has grown–breaking through the communication barricades of his office have become extremely impossible.
Last Friday, I appeared to be on a lucky streak, as I hurdled the phone tree and was fortunate enough to speak with a live operator. A second point was scored when the operator proved to have fairly decent control of the English language. Actually, she gave every indication of understanding my problem and immediately put my call through to the Nurse Help Line.
Three points! I was on a roll.
Unfortunately, that is when I skidded and hit the wall. After being placed on hold for almost 20 minutes, I was asked to leave a message so that someone would return my call. That was Friday. Today is Tuesday. My son has already received the shot and everything is fine with the college health office. Will I ever receive a call back? I am guessing not.
Drugstore.com has poured millions and millions, into their marketing efforts, My son’s pediatrician is a wonderfully talented and dedicated doctor. Unfortunately, in both cases, the organizations will eventually fall victim to their own sloppiness, when it comes to servicing their customers. As a business owner for myself for nearly all of my 30+ years of professional experience, I know how much easier it is to work with existing customers, than convert new ones. Something that took years and years to build–can be gone in a nano-second!
For further discussion of this topic, I suggest that you download David Meerman Scott’s new ebook: Agile, Real-Time Customer Service. You will probably also want to check out his new book, The New Rules of Sales and Service: How to use agile selling, real-time customer engagement, big data, content, and storytelling to grow your business. –Doug.
3 Random Observations from Last Week.
Random Observation #1
Restoration Hardware and their 12 pounds of catalog
There are most likely hundreds of UPS drivers nursing sore backs, thanks to Restoration Hardware and their heavily shrink-wrapped package of (9) catalogs–weighing in at a ghastly 12 pounds, per household. I am guessing that the Sears Wish Book of yesteryear was merely a postal David, compared to this direct-mail Goliath.
Maryland's State flag. Top of the fluttering heap.
Random Observation #2
From a visual branding standpoint, Maryland’s State flag has reached the apex of the 50 candidates. The striking design has the application flexibility build into its soul.
Jeeps
Cleats
Planes
Uniforms
Random Observation #3
As a newly minted member of the Dollar Shave Club–where each month (or 2) you receive an environmentally friendly package of razor blades–that drastically undercut the gigantically priced Gillettes and Schicks of the facial follicle world. As an add-on, I recently included a 3 oz. tube of Dr. Carver’s Shave Butter with my order. Great stuff! It has been over 50 years since my cheeks have felt so smooth.
According to the Homeland Security website, “You are allowed to bring one small bag of liquids, aerosols, gels, creams and pastes through the checkpoint. These are limited to 3.4 ounces or less per container.”
For some reason, while being scanned and probed at Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport (which proudly flies the Maryland State flag), my tube of Dr. Carver’s was confiscated by TSA authorities, who claimed that it was 6.0 ounces–or 2.6 ounces over the legal limit. I might have questioned decision but was anxious to catch my New England-bound flight and wasn’t up to spilling my guts regarding any other potential TSA over sites–that would eventually make their way to my permanent record
Simple mathematical error by the TSA official?
Perhaps.
However, I am thinking that Dollar Shave Club may be suffering the effects of a conspiracy orchestrated by shaving’s “Big 2”. I promise to keep you posted. –Doug.
Box Top
Vintage Gadget Packaging: Mason Carve-Rite
Box Side A.
Box Side B.
Box Side C.
Box Side D.
The Mason Carve-Rite Instrument in a package–strong enough for years of storage.
A friend of mine was helping to clean some 'stuff' out of the home of a friend's deceased relative. In a pile of books, tschotskes and knick-knacks–Paul came across this wonderful 'Kitchen App' from a far simpler time.
You have to wonder how many focus groups, market tests, sales chain specialists and internal committees this package had to go through–pre-production.
From a storage perspective, unless you are professional meat carver–the heavyweight cardboard package offers years of product protection. The bright red color also keeps the roast stabilizer from getting lost in the hutch–behind the gravy boats and silver soup ladles. – Doug.
The Little Project That Wouldn't Go Away
Books for Young Marketers: Volume One
Designers, copywriters, project managers, product group heads, pre-press experts, customer service professionals, etc., etc., etc.
EYMER BRAND Laboratories + Think Tank, has recently developed a series of children's books, specifically targeted to you and your profession. Through easily digested words and lush visual desserts–you will allow family and friends to experience, first-hand–your frazzled workday journey.
Children (as young as 4), will confront–last minute revisions, extended meetings, and unsolicited feedback from the client's clue-challenged brother-in-law. Moments of pure genius will be quickly and unremittingly extinguished.
The first edition, The Little Project That Wouldn't Go Away, focusses on a pro bono (free) assignment that grows multiple appendages, consumes an abundance of creative effort–only to suddenly burst into flames and vanish!
Future publications will include:
"I Don't Know–What do YOU Think?"
"I Hate Green"
"Does this Font Make Me Look Fat?"
"The Crowd Source Manifesto"*
*For more experienced readers. Contains strong language and disturbing content.
SYMS: off-price, Secaucus (NJ) clothing store retailer/liquidator
The Greatest Corporate Slogan–Ever!
Through the years, I have subconsciously archived a plethora of slogans and tag-lines–in a far corner of my cranial gray matter–that allows immediate access instantaneous retrieval.
A gift, or a curse? You be the judge.
"Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is"
"Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions–on a sesame seed bun"
"When you're out of Schlitz, you're out of beer"
"Us Tareyton smokers would rather fight than switch!"
Like a meandering creek, the mental list rambles–endlessly onward.
However, there is one tagline that I feel is:
“The Greatest Slogan Ever Invented”
Seymour Merinsky a.k.a. "Sy Syms"
This tagline masterpiece, was created in the mid-1970s by Seymour Merinsky, a former sports broadcaster, turned–off-price, Secaucus (NJ) clothing store retailer/liquidator.
Better known as the legendary Sy Syms, Mr. Merinsky offered a broad range of first quality, in-season, designer brands–at discounted prices.
And his winning tagline is (virtual drumroll an opening of sealed envelope):
"An Educated Consumer is Our Best Customer."
Yikes! Light dawns on Marblehead!
There is so much incredible truth in this statement–especially if you are running a business where time is of the essence.
Rookie clients (like puppies & kittens) are wonderful but…
During the project planning/budgeting process, extra time must be included for necessary training sessions and unanticipated teaching moments.
Historically speaking, Sy’s brilliant slogan lives on–despite the fact that his Sym’s brand went belly-up shortly after his death in 2009.
Please let me propose that this tagline (the greatest one ever) transcends the SYMS, single business entity and reverberates within a much broader universe. – Doug.