In a world where we are up to our eyeballs in impersonal electronic communication, EYMER BRAND Laboratories + Think Tank is still a strong proponent of traditional tactile new year greetings.Read More
EYMER BRAND LABORATORIES + THINK TANK's “Mini-Torch of Knowledge,” is a technological breakthrough that many scientists have deemed this century’s equivalent of the legendary ZIPPO Lighter.Read More
How many individuals have you heard remark how grateful they are for all of the emails and how quickly and efficiently they can move through them? When was the last time that you made a business call and a live human answered the phone? The barriers for reaching potential clients are becoming more and more difficult to breach.Read More
We at Eymer Design are proud to present to you, the most revolutionary invention of the 20th century! The handheld personal incendiary device we like to call: A LITTLE BIT O HELL IN AN ITSY BITSY BOXRead More
We are currently busy, finishing up the mailing of our annual promotional piece. There are still only a handful left–and we would love to whisk one your way.
If you should wish to receive a thoughtfully packaged bundle of EYMER BRAND Laboratories + Think Tank propaganda–please send us:
YOUR NAME | ADDRESS | eMAIL ADDRESS
Within hours, a uniformed United States Postal worker will hand-deliver this package to your predetermined destination.
Oh!–and even better!
From time to time, you will receive thought-provoking news and information from our laboratories and think tank. Win! Win! Can life actually get much better?
Since 1989, and EYMER BRAND Laboratories + Think Tank’s humble beginnings, we have used this time of year to refresh our mailing list and to send out a printed promotional package–simultaneously welcoming the new year and reminding clients and prospects, that we are eagerly awaiting their next project.
This year, through the generous support of our intellectual property, law firm client, Wolf Greenfield–we were able to acquire extra copies of the 2014 calendar that we designed for/with them.
Following the buffing and polishing of the mailing list, a conscious decision was made to put aside the negative vibes emanating from the stagnant economy and to force ourselves to focus on a brighter and more innovative future.
Here is the text from the letter that has been included in the packaged propaganda–along with the printed calendar:
OK. IT’S 2014.
For the past few years, we have ALL been cautiously moving forward, keeping our risk-adversed heads down–slowly trudging sideways with the rest of the FRIGHTENED HERD.
It has been neither FUN, nor PROFITABLE.
LET’S LEAP from our WELL-WORN RUTS, and FORCE CUSTOMERS to eagerly TAKE NOTICE!
YOU ARE GREAT AT WHAT YOU DO! YOUR BRAND IS SECOND TO NONE!
TOGETHER, WE WILL make 2014 your year to SHINE IN THE SUN!
CALL US: 781.383.8844 | eMAIL US: firstname.lastname@example.org
We will respond in MILLISECONDS! IT’S 2014!
TIME TO GET MOVING!
For additional graphics, we dug through the EYMER archives and found our Stand Up! Dude, created back in 1995. In a world where the marketing efforts of many organizations tend to ‘blend’ more than ‘lead’–we felt that the Stand Up! Be Noticed! message should be the battle cry for 2014!
We have a couple of handfuls of unaddressed packages waiting to be claimed and would welcome the opportunity to include your name and address within the next bundle of outgoing mail.
Please respond to this post and we will whisk a package over to you!
Have a happy, successful and profitable new year!