EYMER BRAND LABORATORIES + THINK TANK's “Mini-Torch of Knowledge,” is a technological breakthrough that many scientists have deemed this century’s equivalent of the legendary ZIPPO Lighter.
In this crazy world of self-driving vehicles, robot-driven checkout lines, and pixel over-stimulation, we know that by day’s end your cranial synapses are only randomly firing (at best). With a simple press of the “MTK” ignition switch, (while positioning the device squarely overhead), you will experience a burst of energy many times more potent than your favorite energy drink or überly-caffeinated spiced pumpkin latte!
If you would like a FREE Mini-Torch, follow the link below, sign-up for our mailing list* and we'll whisk one right over to you! Please keep in mind, the supply is limited, and we are operating on a first come, first served basis! Cheers! Happy 2018!
THE LINK: http://bit.ly/EYMER_2qQrvCL
*Because you are obviously a fan of EYMER BRAND Laboratories + Think Tank, we will occasionally send you exciting news, well-filtered propaganda, and inspirational content.