Yesterday, I took part in EYMER BRAND Laboratories + Think Tank's regularly scheduled Design Appreciation Field Trip where we ventured to the nearby TESLA Store.
Picture for a moment, an Apple Store for cars. It was an awe-inspiring design experience.
True, I am still bitterly disappointed that our government has yet to the flying cars that we were promised as members of American Youth of the Kennedy, Johnson and Nixon years. As an unrealized technology placeholder, the TESLA will suffice.
I have included some photos of the world's cleanest auto dealership. Quite truthfully, I felt as though I were on the movie set for a pristine remake of 2001: A Space Odyssey (without the Howard Johnson's signage, of course).
Amazingly, there wasn't a plaid sports jacket or gravy-stained necktie in site. All of the polo shirt and khaki-wearing sales attendants were crisp, smart and alert.
Then there was the test drive. Before this, my electric car experience was limited to Bumper Car adventures during county fairs and summer carnivals. The car is fantastic! I can't begin to describe the driver and passenger experience.
Tesla is to Apple Computer as Microsoft is to the Prius – if you know what I mean!
During my visit, I was fortunate enough to watch a customer build his car on the showroom's 27" iMac. It was if he were purchasing a Harry Potter book on Amazon. Click, click, click, done!
This, my friend, is when all DESIGN HELL broke loose!
The proud new TESLA parent was suddenly showered with official owner's "gift with purchase" tchotchkes. The gifts included an umbrella, commuter mug and the world's ugliest baseball cap.
Apparently, the painfully tight (but incredibly beautiful) TESLA design standard-bearers took a NASCAR detour on the road to aesthetic perfection.
World's ugliest baseball cap.
I have posted a photo of the anonymous hat-wearing recipient (above).
Also as a free service to Elon Musk and company, I have included my proposed TESLA baseball hat of the future. After all, when the rubber meets the road, it's all about the Brand Identity!
My sketch. No charge, Mr. Musk.
Oh, and one more thing – shouldn't the accompanying test pilot receive at least a stress ball or something? – Doug.